Rudyard Kipling"
“When you're left wounded on Afganistan's plains and
the women come out to cut up what remains, Just roll to your rifle
and blow out your brains,
And go to your God like a soldier”
General Douglas MacArthur"
“We are not retreating. We are advancing in another direction.”
“It is fatal to enter any war without the will to win it.” “Old soldiers never die; they just fade away.
“The soldier, above all other people, prays for peace, for he must suffer and be the deepest wounds and scars of war.”
“May God have mercy upon my enemies, because I won't .” “The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.
“Nobody ever defended, there is only attack and attack and attack some more.
“It is foolish and wrong to mourn the men who died. Rather we should thank God that such men lived.
The Soldier stood and faced God
Which must always come to pass
He hoped his shoes were shining
Just as bright as his brass
"Step forward you Soldier,
How shall I deal with you?
Have you always turned the other cheek?
To My Church have you been true?"
"No, Lord, I guess I ain't
Because those of us who carry guns
Can't always be a saint."
I've had to work on Sundays
And at times my talk was tough,
And sometimes I've been violent,
Because the world is awfully rough.
But, I never took a penny
That wasn't mine to keep.
Though I worked a lot of overtime
When the bills got just too steep,
The Soldier squared his shoulders and said
And I never passed a cry for help
Though at times I shook with fear,
And sometimes, God forgive me,
I've wept unmanly tears.
I know I don't deserve a place
Among the people here.
They never wanted me around
Except to calm their fears.
If you've a place for me here,
Lord, It needn't be so grand,
I never expected or had too much,
But if you don't, I'll understand."
There was silence all around the throne
Where the saints had often trod
As the Soldier waited quietly,
For the judgment of his God.
"Step forward now, you Soldier,
You've borne your burden well.
Walk peacefully on Heaven's streets,
You've done your time in Hell."
4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute, unless I require my drink to be refilled or something to eat. You are out of your mind if you expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone, or pick up the baby who just fell from the second floor ... it won't happen.
5. It would be a good idea for you to keep at least 2 six packs in the fridge at all times, as well as plenty of knick-knacks for me to munch on, and please do not make any funny faces at my friends when they come over to watch the games. In return, you will be allowed to use the TV between 12am and 6am, unless there's a replay of a good game that I missed during the day. This rule however is discretionary. (please refer to rule 2)
6. Please, please, please!! if you see that I am upset because one of my teams is losing, DO NOT say "get over it, its only a game", or "don't worry, they'll win next time". If you say these things, you will only make me angrier and I will love you less. Remember, you will never ever know more about football than me and your so called "words of encouragement" will only lead to a break up or divorce (not necessarily in that order).
7. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk to me during the halftime but only when the commercials are on, and only if the score at halftime score pleases me. In addition, please note I am saying "one" game, hence do not use the World Cup as a nice cheesy excuse to "spend time together".
8. The replays of the goals are very important. I don't care if I have watched them or I haven't watched them before, I want to watch them again. Over and over again ... and as many times as possible.
9. Tell your friends NOT to give birth, or have any children's parties or gatherings that will require my attendance because: a) I will not go, b) I will not go, and c) I will not go.
10. But, if a friend of mine invites us over to his house on a Sunday to watch a game, we will be there in a flash.
11. The daily World Cup highlights which will be showed on TV every night are just as important as the games themselves. Do not even think about saying "but you have already seen this ... why don't you change the channel to something we can all watch??", the reply will be: "Refer to Rule #2 of this list".
12. And finally, please refrain from making expressions like "Thank God the World Cup is only every 4 years". I am immune to these words, because after the World Cup comes the Champions League, Italian League, Spanish League, Premier League, etc. Thank you for your cooperation.
